Roseanne’s Morning Show Debut Blows “The View” Out of the Water

Fox Entertainment hit a home run when they made a deal with Roseanne Barr. The American public, tired of the wokeness infecting the nation, needed something better than Whoopi Goldberg and “The View” for their morning television, and they got it.

Roseanne’s new show, “Barr None,” debuted on their streaming network at a 5.8, which is more than 13 points ahead of ABC’s totals for The View on April 6th of last year. “That comparison means we beat the pants off them,” said Showrunner Joe Barron, “Whoopi is sitting in her safe space having a good cry as we speak.”

The show featured an opening monologue, which leaned heavily on the wise words of Donald Trump, followed by a few skits from popular personalities like Rob Schneider and Scott Baio. Kid Rock was the musical guest, allowing Roseanne to use nearly a minute of one of his songs while she did an homage to the January 6 prisoners.

It was a lovely show. The audience all laughed, cried, and screamed in anger at the Muslims in Congress, for some reason, before chanting “Impeach Biden” for a solid five minutes, which is how this masterpiece of television ended.

“It was beautiful,” said Barron, “We hit nearly every talking point in just under an hour. I’m a little bit concerned about we’re gonna do tomorrow, but it doesn’t really matter.”

It sure doesn’t. According to Nielsen, Roseanne’s audience has an average IQ of about 67, with a high score of 104 for the guy who sold them all rapture insurance.

it was a great day for the culture wars, patriots. We’re definitely winning. God Bless America.

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